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Monday, December 29, 2014

A Question asked in the final days of the year. Learning to let it go


It is near the end of another point on the parabolic orbit of this piece of dirt that we call home and I have a question I will ask, but probably shouldn't.
First let me state that I am happy with the Evil F. Bunny. I love the Evil F. Bunny and I have never felt to desire to lovingly ever look past the Evil F. Bunny. She is stuck with me till death do us part or she tires of my repetitious and confusing ways.

Okay my question:

A friend last year used to send me ...porn...or .. maybe it was naked women on warm beaches with rubber bands as bikinis or even under waterfalls etc.
I asked him to stop those mailing because they depressed me. They may have reminded me of a youth past, but even in my youth, I never understood the attraction of strip clubs and dollar bills and the persistence of orgy orgy orgy even at Burning Man.

He stopped his mailings and we remain friends.

I also find that I know many beautiful women on Facebook. Maybe they are jusr plain people, but they seem beautiful. I may have even met them as single women or not. I respect what they post, in many ways they speak in a spiritual, poetic ways. They speak in a singular voice, Honest, fresh true.
And then they post a series of images with a new mate and then they seem to disappear.

And with that, their space in the wheel becomes a void.
I want all to be happy, I want people to find a mate to share with like I have found in the Bunny, but their disappearance saddens me.
I am not (I don't think) like Jimmy Carter who says that he has lusted after one woman or another. Am I the only one that experiences a sense of loss when someone disappears from the digital world, after they post images of their new found soulmate?

Am I kidding myself and I am really, secretly pining after everyone?

Do I need to get out more?
Does anyone else feel a loss?

It almost seems to go hand in hand with the sadness I feel when I watch a movie where things, just stuff...things...are broken in anger or without cause.

I don't like that either. I think I am working though what I need to focus on next year.

Just let it go.